Beware That Old Talking Tree Leaner

I was out for a walk in the backwoods this morning and decided to go on as far as the headwaters of the lake. As I was getting to where I was in sight distance of the water I saw an old man leaning against a tree ahead in the distance. I walked on a bit getting closer to the guy and as I did I started becoming concerned. Was this old dude dead out here? Just stuck there against a tree? I walked on but more slowly. He was less than fifty feet ahead and I slowed down even more. It got to the point where I was barely moving because of the dread of what I would find. I thought about going around a different way.

But, what if he is still alive and I can get help?

I was standing about three feet away and that was when I decided I was going to turn around and...

"Howdy!" A bright welcoming voice but I still winced at the sound of it.

I turned back around and the old dude was looking at me, still leaning in against the tree. "Are you alright?" I asked.

He raised up off of that tree, wrinkled up his eyebrows and put his hand up under his chin. He looked up and off to the heavens somewhere and worked his jaws and lips as he seemed to put every ounce of his energy into thought.

After about 3 minutes of that he looked at me with crystal clear eyes full of understanding and knowledge and said, "What?"

He leaned back his head a bit and his eyes widened. I was thinking of Marty Feldman doing Igor in Young Dr Frankenstien.

Well it was obvious that this was some nut and now I was starting to worry about whether or not he might have a weapon or even some contagious disease. I was going to get out of there! I turned around and took about three steps, slowly listening, I don't know why. Maybe it was that same feeling you have when you are trying to sneak away from that baby who has finally fallen asleep.

I Met Her In The Kitchen There By The Time Clock OR So Long Paintsville Shoney's!

It had been exactly 7 years since the day we first met, since the first day I had looked into her eyes. Now, here we were plus 2 children and it was time again to celebrate "mommy and daddy's special day." Yes, we have always included the whole gang.

We went to Wendy's. I placed the order and the first thing they did was to put our fries on the tray on the counter. Several minutes went by as I waited there for our sammidges and other stuff. Finally she brought them up to the counter. I picked up a fry and bit it. I said, "excuse me but can we get fresh fries? These have been sitting here so long they're actually cold." No problem, they replaced the fries.

The "Spot" these days is covered by a Wendy's

I took everything to the table and we started setting it all out. She took a bite of her chicken sandwich and it was a bit raw in the middle. I took it back to the counter and asked for a manager. He asked me if I wanted a new chicken sandwich or a different one. I told him that I would like to have the entire meal replaced. By the time they got the sandwich made all our food would sitting on the table and all that. Then she would be eating her chicken sandwich after everything else had gotten cold or we would all eat and then be waiting for her to and so on.

The Little Red Hen Modern and Updated

The Little Red Hen - Modern Version

Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.

She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck.

You Pay For This But They Give You That (Those Darn Crooks and Liars!)

"You pay for this but they give you that..." ~ Neil Young

Here is the delicious looking snack I saw and which caused me to decide to order. Mmmm mmmm! Look how good that looks!

When they brought my plate of chicken and fixins out and set it on the counter I was a little stunned. In that plate were the tiniest peices of chicken I had seen since I was a kid and we had baney roosters running around in the yard!

I asked the lady to please exchange that chicken for some bigger peices. I pointed up at the menu and remarked about how big and juicy the chicken in the pictures was.

She mumbled something, took the plate and went back top the chicken cabinet. What she brought back out to me was a bit bigger but not much. What I got was definitely not even close to the mouth watering picture.

AND look at the size of that ole biscuit!

So what do y'all think? Should a restaurant be able to do this to us? Why should they be allowed to "sell you this but give you that'?? It should be illegal and fines should be slapped on McDonals, FKC and any other crap business who practices this.

Make it stop! write your congressman, call your friends, shout it from the roof tops and post it on Facebook! We've had enough of the lies! I want that juicy chicken dinner that I see in that picture!