Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Thinking is Now Obsolete Thanks to Me!

There's No Need to Think! Trust The Church of the Old School Hat!

Finally there is no longer a need for you to waste your valuable time and energy thinking and forming opinions! We do all the thinking for you which frees you up with more time to do the things you enjoy.

We have all heard about the good old days so there can be no doubt that they once existed. I myself can recall several of them.

Hey! Did you know that if something is new it is automatically better? New things are much smarter, more intelligent and even better looking than older ones. Everybody knows that right? New ideas, new coke, new math, new president, new flavor of chips... new is always so much better and tastier! Wrong! Go on get out of here and collect more experience points before returning to my podium!

You shall not pass lest you be cast into the chasm of eternal stench. However, if you are willing to confess that the old stuff is often the best you are qualified to join the church of the Old School Hat. The good old days can be right now for you if you join the Church of the Old School Hat.

The Church of the Old School Hat

So sit back, put on your old school hat and see how it flies.

Will you be offended or upset? Maybe. Will you be outraged? Probably. Will you laugh and say 'right on!'? I sure hope so, but if you don't? Oh well its just a crappy old back alley blog so lets just get on with it. Welcome to  the church of the Old School Hat!

Remember! Don't try to think about it. Just listen to the TV news and they will inform you of what you need to know, all of which is the truth of course. Above all love and be good to your family, friends and neighbors.

OK I'M CONVINCED! HOW DO I JOIN The Church of the Old School Hat?

Read the following statement aloud and follow the simple instructions to become a full fledged member of the Church of the Old School Hat with all privileges and glamor associated with such membership:

I ________ vow not to be an idiot who believes that everything that's new is better.

I will vow to do everything I can to rid the world of Garth Brooks music and pink yard flamingos.

Next set your home page to this website and delete all other pages from your bookmarks as this will be the only site you visit. If you do visit other sites take heed that your webmaster is a jealous webmaster and you may be rejected from the ever-babbling church of the Old School Hat.

Visitors are welcomed!

You don't have to join the church to read and be afflicted by the wisdom within these pages. Just keep in mind that we are really hoping for blind zombies to believe everything we say without question and donate generously.

Written by some anonymous idiot...

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